Monday, March 15, 2010

YSA= AA????

So I've decided that a YSA (Young Single Adult) branch is a lot like AA (alcoholic's annonymous). Think about it an AA meeting has people standing up and stating their name how long they've been part of the group, possibly where they come from, and the reason they're there.

Compare to a YSA get to know you activity- You end up standing up in front of a crowd and saying your name where you come from, maybe throw in that you're a Capricorn or a Leo or something like your favorite dessert or hobbie or interest, if your new to the branch state where you come from, and then basically admit (maybe not verbally) but just your attendence at the meeting confirms the fact that you are there because you suffer from the same weakness as everyone else at the meeting "I'm.... SINGLE!!" Curs-ed word in the Latter Day Saint world!!!

And although there definately is that feel in singles wards/branches. I really like the branch that I moved into. It's pretty small, but it's warm and friendly- not cruel and intimating and I didn't feel like fresh meat so to speak when I moved in. It's just like a group of friends getting together to talk about our Heavenly Father's plan. And unlike some wards/branches I've been in, I don't feel like a name on a role I feel like an important part of the branch/family and that the people there care about me. And I'm just happy to be there. And I admit, I am a girl and I suffer from crushes just like every girl on the planet, but I didn't feel like the whole focus of being there is to get me matched off and married.

That was until today! I had an appointment with my branch president and while I was there asked him about getting my endownments out. And basically I was told that if I wasn't getting married or going on a mission it wouldn't be an option for me. Based on my age basically I didn't meet the standard. Apparently this branch is a real stickler when it comes to this topic because even sisters approaching 30 typically aren't able to get theirs out because we'd make greater covenants and be held more responsible if we messed up! Well duh!!!! And I just wanted to say I know that. I just graduated from BYU-I, I was raised in a family that taught the importance of these covenants, it's not like I'm signing up for the newest fad. I just want to be able to gain more insight into my life. And honestly I feel like I should be going through, but he was set on the opinion that at my age I shouldn't be going through without the reason of mission or marriage.
And then the next thing he says and this is the thing that gets me the most- basically he said to try harder to get married. To pray about it and to do all I can to do so. And again I want to be like- are you kidding me? I just left BYU-I DO!

There's only so much single sisters can do!??!? Unless you like throw yourselves at the guys! Which I absoluately refuse to do!!! And I'm happy being single. Being single is not the plague! You can be a happy single person. And I don't really see why the blessings of the temple including endownments need to be dangled in front of us like a carrot!!! My pedigree chart says BIC- born in covenant, I went to Primary- I've sung "I Love to See the Temple" since I was a Sunbeam. I know how important getting married is and I look forward to the day that I can enter my Heavenly Father's house and be sealed for time and all eternity.

But I'm just kinda annoyed. It wasn't like I went in there asking for my recommend so that I could go to a friend's wedding or something! And honestly I'll be happy when I find the right guy, but I'm not just going to be rushing into marriage to get my endownments out. And I know that he doesn't want me to slip up and have to face the consequences, but honestly I've thought about it! I know the consequences! I just want to grow and gain more understanding!! And yes there are greater consequences if you mess up, but there are also greater blessing because of your worthiness!!
And it's not like I haven't considered the other options for receiving my endownments. I try to date as much as I can, but honestly, Mr. Right hasn't been in the right place yet. And I've wanted to go on a mission, but right now doesn't feel like the time I should be going, but I still desire the added blessings that come from recieving the blessings of the temple!

So sorry I know that he is a man called of God, and I didn't say any of this to him while I was there, basically because I don't want kicked out of the branch :) but still it feels like a double standard when an immature 19 yr old can get his endownments out to go on a mission (where hopefully he'll grow up) or an 18 yr old bride who has really no idea what life is like can get her endownments out to get married, but because I just want a greater understanding of my Father's plan and I feel ready to take that step because I feel the need for the growth in my personal life, I can't because I'm not old enough??? I'm as old as most of the YW leaders that are taking their Beehives and Mia Maids to do baptisms on the nights that I go! ERRGGG!!!

And what he said about preparing for marriage is true. And it is stuff that I will and am, and have been applying. I am praying for Mr. Right to find me and that he's making good choices so that we can be married in the temple and have an eternal family. And I'm trying to be the type of person I'd like to marry! But it just bothers me that he basically told me to get married if I want to get my endownments out anytime soon!!
Sorry I'm tired and frustrated and I'll repent over this tomorrow!!!


Valerie said...

Holy Cow! That is messed up! I'm sorry he acted like that. It's definetely not fair to you. Wow!

Heather said...

I bet that felt good to get out... even though we talked about it all last night. :) Sometimes it helps to write stuff down along with verbalizing it.