Sunday, April 25, 2010

To date or not to date that is the question?

*To protect the innocent, names have been changed or just altogether left out of this blog.*

So I have a guy friend, who would like to be more than just a friend with me. And honestly, I can't bring myself to commit one way or the other.

And if circumstances were different I would probably feel differently about this whole situtation.

Honestly, we are close. We know a lot about each other and when we are together it's comfortable and easy to talk to him. And we have fun together. So on the good guy friend scale he's pretty high up there, which is where you would like someone who you're considering dating.

But see like any girl there are a few things that I'm kinda looking for, some are more important than others, but some in my opinion are really unnegtiable- unless there is a sincere and honest reason for why they didn't happen. And until he started asking me if I'd like to take it to the next level, I honestly didn't want to know/ feel it was really my right to know some of this stuff.
And I'm afraid that if I were to get into a relationship that I could fall into love. He does have some good qualities. But here are some of the reasons that I'm really not sure it would be a good idea to put myself into circumstances that could lead to something as eternal and binding as a sealing.

*he hasn't served a mission- from an old conversation I remember him saying medical reasons, but talking to a mutal friend it sounds like it was a matter of a few pounds that prevented him from serving. And I'm not judging but a matter of a few pounds to me, could later mean a few dollars later off of a full tithe or I came close to fulfilling a calling etc, but _______ prevented me. If you want something enough you will do everything you can to have it. Not to mention there's just the fact that guys generally grow and mature a lot on their missions.
Not to mention I still want to serve a mission myself when I have enough money to go and when the time feels right. -Now I think it would seem to much like I was running from this situation.

*Still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life- he graduated the same year as me so he's been out of school for nearly 5 yrs and tried school for about a school year I think and then flunked out when he couldn't decide what he wanted to do/ didn't put the needed effort in.

*When he quit school he moved back home and lives with his parents still and as far as I know doesn't plan on moving out anytime soon. He is trying to get back into school, but I'll believe it when it happens.

We still keep in touch, but communication is by texting and facebook chatting- Hello?? If you can't call a girl up on the phone, especially if you're considering a relationship there's a problem!
I know girls can be intimidating, but that's one of the risks you have to take.

And then there's the fact that the last time we spoke he was like did I ever tell you what my mom said after she met you? Quoting him: "She thought that you were so cute and that she decided that you and I were going to get married one day." And you know his mom is great, a real sweetheart, however I don't want him to use that as some kind of string to get my interest in some strange way? And maybe if the circumstances were different I could honestly consider it, like that's why this is so hard......

He still has potential. Like personality wise and he's way up there on the guy friend scale, and he is temple worthy, it's just the grown up, maturity scale that he's lacking.

And I've had some roommates say to at least date the guy and just work on developing that type of relationship in preparation for the future.

But at the same time I know that if I seriously were to become more commited there is interest that could lead to a lifetime of supporting a guy who still hasn't really figured things out for himself or prepared himself for life....

Would it be bad to give him some of these reasons. I told him that I wasn't sure that we hadn't dated enough for me to really to have even considered taking it to the next level. So we're going out again when he figures out some fanatstic "girlfriend winning over date" of some kind probably. So like after that date, when I'm sure this will come up, should I be honest and give him some of these reasons or just say, I'd just prefer to remain friends.

Cause honestly I think a lot of this, is changable. Even the mission part, it would take a lot of effort, but odds are he could still be able to go. And if he were to figure a lot of this stuff out, there's really wouldn't be a reason for me to worry about being in a relationship with him.

And if I tell him these things honestly, when he does find a girl who is SERIOUS about him, when he is SERIOUS about his own life and what he's doing, he'll actually be better prepared then???

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The End of An Era

After 5 long years I have reached the end of my path at BYU-Idaho! I graduated on Saturday April 10, 2010.
So here are some statistics of my last few years.


Riviera 6- Fall 2005, Winter 2006, Fall 2006, and Winter 2007
Riviera 15-Fall 2007 and Winter 2008
Brooklyn 208- Summer 2008
Danbury Manor Apt. 4- Fall 2008
Mountain Pines 309- Winter 2009
Mountain Pines 110- Fall 2009
House in Arizona
Apartment in Idaho Falls Winter 2010

Roommates: Lizzie Anderson, Emily Anderson, Andrea Merrell (Roerig), Whitney Kriser, Erin Zane (Pitcher) Lorinda "Dori" Smith (Allred), Heather Moss, Mallory Douge, Abby Salmond, Jenna Trentman (Price), Ashley Willman (Greene), Maria Ricks, Abby Simpson (McGrew?), Allyn Harker, Kristie Muir (Kasperson), Jodi Goodwin, Marlene Nelson, Tracey Lockwood (Leder), Tiffany Bird "T-Bird", Elizabeth Field (Cowan), Kacia Field (Moser), Stacie Marquiss, Stacia Hullinger, Daisy Heiner (Hegstrom), Charisse Gardner, Katherine Fleming, Amy Benkenstein, Tori Dickson, Mikyla Powell, Annette Mickey, Hillary Kohler, Angela Richardson (Neilson), Bekah Pingel, Erin Bee, Jamie Harrington, Ashley Zollinger, Laura Denton, Elizabeth Lovell (Valentine), Heather Grant, and Hada Aroch.

Holy Snap!!! I've lived with 40 different girls!!! I actually didn't realize how many roommates I've had until I just counted them. And the majority of these fabulous girls can be seen in the pictures to the right!

Not to mention the friends/apartments that I've had that might as well have been roommates (you know who you are! there's not enough room to list everyone!)

Wards: BYU-Idaho 1st, 20th, 82nd, 6th, 19th as well as Eden Park in Mesa, and the IF 1st YSA Branch and the St. Leon 2nd YSA Branch.

More FHE siblings that I care to imagine and sadly more than I can count and probably name and numberless friends from classes and wards that I've been in.

18 credits- the most credits I took in a single semester
14 credits-the least amount of credits I took in a single semester

140 credits! Including 1 Associates Degree and 1 Bachelor's Degree!

I'm so happy I decided to walk for graduation! Originally I wasn't going to, but after I'm glad I did, it was a good conclusion to my time at BYU-Idaho.

I got to go to the Commencement Speaker with Elder Jay E. Jensen and I got to sit next to Heather Moss one of my favorite old roommates who might as well be a sister!

Here's a picture of us afterwards!

I was also lucky enough to have my parents come to the Commencment Address as well as the actual Convocation.

For Convocation I was emailed before hand and because my GPA was one the of top 5 in my major I was asked to take part in the program so I got to pick my part (O or C. Prayer, Scripture Reading a Talk or a Musical Number) so I chose the scripture reading because I figured it was the one I could mess up the least :D. The scripture was the theme of the ceremony which was D&C 88:118.

"And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning, even by study and also by faith."

Happily my friend Crystal Johnson was also selected (she gave one of the talks) and we got to sit on the stand in the Hinckley together. And then because we helped we were the first people to walk across the stage and receive our diploma covers.

My cousin Danielle Kauer Anderson also graduated this semester with her Associates degree and we were in the same Convocation so we were able to get a picture afterwards.

One of my old roommates Maria Ricks also drove up from working in Jerome, ID to attend my convocation and she stayed with me Friday night and part of Saturday night.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity I had to go to BYU-Idaho and for the friendships that I've formed and the blessings that I've received because of my experiences there. I've learned things there that I would never have had the opportunity to elsewhere.

I am very happy however to have reached the end of my time at BYU-I and I look forward to other adventures that I'll have in life after college!